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Black Marigolds

by The Blue Rhonda

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1.
Morning coffee opened fingers to the air Laughing sunlight telling me the day is there Open window, sounds of life lining the street but Lyn woke up to a colorless beat. It's sad, you see, because life is beautiful inside, you just have to follow your heart until you find happiness that lives and loves to be your dreams that you can't follow now, it's time to take the lead. Diamonds in the night and dusty ballet shoes. She don't dance no more, no Lyn has got the blues. She traded her dreams for the dream of geting through Because life is now just something that we do. You've gotta feel the smiles in the air you breathe, if you're going to learn to see. It's opening your heart that will lead you to the love you are, just remember to be. Jonas etched his dreams playing his guitar, but inside he was cold and inside he was dark, oh until he found his roots, now his branches grow and shoot and kiss the dreaming blue, and now his leaves are falling for you. You've gotta feel the smiles in the air you breathe, if you're going to learn to see. It's living with some heart that will lead you to the love you are, just remember to be. You've gotta feel the smiles in the air you breathe, if you're going to learn to see. It's following your heart that will lead you to the love you are, Just remember to be yourself and who you are Don't ever try to be someone your not, and throw away the gifts you've got. Just learn and live and laugh and beam and dance and sing until it seems that your life is just a dream.
2.
I Surrender 04:31
Driving in reverse—not going towards, but coming from. Slow down this road, I don't know it so well. These outstretched condor wings of my home have flown away, And all these houses look the same. I surrender to these shadows chasing after me, Their laughter fills the words and melodies that I can't sing. She is there, she is always in my memory, With the boy I used to be. The projector shows the moments I was in her arms. I wish that I had just held on. I sleep alone to greet the days that show how much I've changed. To me she'll always be the same. I surrender to these shadows chasing after me, Their laughter fills the words and melodies that I can't sing. She is there, she is always in my memory, With the boy I used to be. I won't let you go. I surrender to these shadows chasing after me, Their laughter fills the words and melodies that I can't sing. She is there, she is always in my memory, With the boy I used to be. I surrender tonight, but I'm not giving up, Throw my white flag out, and I'll raise it up. I surrender tonight, but I'm not giving up, Because I can't win without her love.
3.
I already fell before she let me go, We felt the fear of losing time, long ago I slid the last of my thoughts across the floor And found myself another door. The door, though plain, opened with ease To a room filled with people that I had never seen They filled up my glass, Glenfiddich toast to the past, Now the smiles were on my side. They said… “You know, all of your friends got your back” —Yeah they always do— “Don’t think, hard times will last cause, my friend, we’ll make it through.” Anne hit the curb without a place to turn Three sheets to the wind, her mother couldn’t even provide for her But she found friends that made her smile, and a web that made her laugh Now she finally feels like she has a home at last. I said… “You know, all of your friends got your back” —Yeah they always do— “Don’t think, hard times will last cause, my friend, we’ll make it through.” He’s grown into shapes that don’t have any lines Some days he speaks in tongues that he doesn’t even recognize But everyone around him feels the same And he is rooted when they say… “You know, all of your friends got your back” —Yeah they always do— “Don’t think, hard times will last cause, my friend, we’ll make it through.” It’s the same story when the black becomes the focus and the smiles fade away But you and your friends, and me and my friends, are painting color over all the gray. “You know, all of your friends got your back” —Yeah they always do— “Don’t think, hard times will last cause, my friend, we’ll make it through.”
4.
Secret Smile 04:57
Look at that plane, oh how it moves Refocus your focus to you and I, how we lie so still. From our boat you can see that a wave is slowly approaching But I stand on the bow, waiting to be swept away, so sweep me away. I know in the moment we caught up, as we turned into days I noted I saw love. The beauty inside of me, dancing around Waiting for your hands to take me away to the light. Oh how these lanterns light our steps And how I wish I had a guide to take each breath. For me you sing of happiness, with your beautiful eyes and your heart of bliss Tell me a story a thousand times, how about the one about the stars in the sky? The park at night has an incandescent glow, oh how I wish I had a light of my own. The beauty inside of me, dancing around Waiting for your hands to take me away to the light. I’ve yet to live, I’ve yet to know I’ve yet to be, I’ve yet to grow. Cast me a secret smile and I’ll fly away, I’ll fly away.
5.
Run in Place 03:53
A night awake when all is still, as the stories in my mind Play out in a panic, and I can only hit rewind. There’s a boy who flew where the wind blew and a boy who’s standing still. I pray someday I’ll fly again but I don’t know if I will. What’s beyond my view is always out of reach, when I can’t see. I’ll keep growing shallow just to hide my thoughts away I’ll fall in love with love itself so my heart never breaks. Because I’m scared to admit that I’m afraid. So I run in place. I dress myself in “What Ifs?” because naked is ashamed The mouth of doubt behind my smile always plays it safe. When risk is just four letters, l o v e, love. Vulnerable is even more, but content is just enough. If the one reached out, my hand would shake too much to hold, And I’d let her go. I’ll keep growing shallow just to hide my thoughts away I’ll fall in love with love itself so my heart never breaks. Because I’m scared to admit that I’m afraid. So I run in place. I’ll find love in passages of other pens, I’ll search for her in songs. Now that it’s quiet and the books are read I realize, she was with me all along. I’ll keep growing shallow just to hide my thoughts away I’ll fall in love with love itself so my heart never breaks. Because I’m scared to admit that I’m afraid. So I run in place.
6.
The Line 02:40
Gambled our Friday night on the Green line, Walked Wadsworth Street with laughing feet and spinning eyes. Saw your smile on the porch, paid my five at the door, And turned back around to see those eyes I came here for. We always need to feel someone. Well what if that someone was you? My awkward lines were juxtaposed against the hug you sold I only spent a compliment—a bargain for your hold. The night turned into days, painting an affair But the canvas was too thin and each stroke made it tear. We always need to feel someone. Well what if that someone was you? Well what if that someone was you? Words that stand alone in a poem without a heart, we wrote with love we didn’t own. A rock thrown into water, ripples in its wake But time takes the intensity and we soon sink So once again we turn to see our bodies love, Because a heart that lives alone is a heart that never opens up. We always need to feel someone. Well what if that someone was you? And everything in my life was fine until I came across the line.
7.
Eight 03:56
Light has found it’s way, resting on my fingertips I slide them up your legs, and I rest them on your lips Something’s telling me that I am not good enough for this, no. 1,2,3,4 I’m on the floor, I don’t think I can love you more Eight more years until I do. Night becomes day, darkness goes away, eight more years until the day With this ring I’ll say “I do.” And if the courage in my veins ceases to flow through, I will gladly spend all of my time with you. And I’ll tell you that I love you, and I’m thankful for all of the things you do Followed by two simple words: ….”I do!” Now where do we go? Now I think I know. Is it back to the start we go? I think it’s there that we will grow. And If I go blind, I know our love shines and when it pours all through my mind, My sight will once again be fine. This is lovely, you are lovely, I love to be here with you, thinking to myself “I do.” And when the time is right you’ll have my life, and I will be there day and night, I do, I do my wife. And if the courage in my veins ceases to flow through, I will gladly spend all of my time with you. And I’ll tell you that I love you, and I’m thankful for all of the things you do Followed by two simple words: ….”I do!” Night has found us here, and it’s landed on my wrists I beat them twice to say, that I’m finally over this And in eight more years, we will share the perfect…kiss.
8.
Moths at my doorstep-light in the dripping august air Batting at them with our bare hands. Felt half my age as my innocent palm slipped into yours, But adulthood brought the trembles. Because I’ve been here before. I know you’ll take my heart before it’s yours. The Harvest moon is reaping clouds, the city lights chatter below Your breath echoes of your face. For a moments our exhales embraced inside this chill I know that I’ll never warm your hands again. Belief, belief: the only things that keeps me on my feet When your future isn’t mine. I’m chasing this dream that you placed inside of me, led me to think That the present wouldn’t sleep. I know that I’m responsible to be a tree that stands alone But Boston’s forestry is limited So I’ll re-stitch our spirit’s seams, I’ll re-thread our memories I clutch a ghost’s hand as I walk these city streets. Belief, belief: the only things that keeps me on my feet When your future isn’t mine. I’m chasing this dream that you placed inside of me, led me to think That the present wouldn’t sleep. We can’t lie, but some excuses would be nice An alibi to make it easier at night When I wake, to nostalgia by my side.
9.
The Mirror 03:53
Staring at the glass I see, another person than the one I though I used to be. The useless thoughts that guide my days, my worried ways and anxious haze, I can’t think straight. But I’ve found a reason, I’ve found a light, and understanding, I’ve found hope, now I’ll be alright. My wet hair sticking to my face, experience time won’t erase. And it was only three days. I search for reasons to explain, I fear one day I’ll be insane, even though it’s all in my brain. And I need you now, I’m hoping that I never ever see the person staring back at me. But you, with your smile on, tell me everything will be alright. Everything will be alright. These are not the same two eyes that followed me all through my life, and kept my hopes high. The panic took my optimism, and now my mind is in a schism, wishing for my child’s vision. And I need you now, I’m hoping that I never ever see the person staring back at me. But you, with your smile on, tell me everything will be alright. Everything will be alright. I stare at this glass when no one’s home, and I’m starting to think that I’m not quite alone As if someone was with me and they took control. Along for the ride has taken its toll. And I need you now, I’m hoping that I never ever see the person staring back at me. But you, with your smile on, tell me everything will be alright. Everything will be alright.
10.
Faith, look I'm coming down. Everyone is on the ground, but I'm floating in the air. And she's hanging hanging up, yeah I'm hanging up now. So now I'm picking up the pieces that I left behind. I look and search but there is just one piece that I can't find. This is not the reason that I scream inside. I run and run but there is just no place for me to hide. Nothing is permanent, and things are fleeting fast. With every hour and limb we grow we isolate the past. But I love you, and I need you, and I'm hoping as I smile from ear to ear that you feel the same as me. This is not the city, but at least we try to run and blend in with a million people's other lives. You are so misleading, you're messing with my mind. I'd leave you for a new life if I only had the time. But I love you, and I need you, and I'm hoping as I smile from ear to ear that you feel the same as me. Follow home if you'd like, toward the light in the night of the city. I'm breaking down all these lights in the city. I'm nothing without my light. But I love you, and I need you, and I'm hoping as I smile from ear to ear that you feel the same as me. Do you feel the same? I don't think you feel the same. No, you don't feel the same as me.

credits

released October 12, 2010

Glenn Kendzia – vocals, guitar, piano, percussion
Rodney Bush – piano, vocals, percussion
Noah Bartfield – bass, violin, viola, percussion
Joe Welch – drums
David B Weaver – drums
Tom Kendzia - organ
DJ Emoh Betta – turntables
Joseph Hebert – cello

All songs by Glenn Kendzia (BMI)
Songs arranged by The Blue Rhonda
Strings arranged by Glenn Kendzia

Produced by Mike Moschetto and Glenn Kendzia
Additional production by Mike Mastrangelo
Engineered by Mike Moschetto and Nils Montan
Additional engineering by Tom Kendzia and Paula Wolak
Mixed by Mike Moschetto

Recorded at WERS (Boston, MA) and Top Floor Productions (Westerly, RI) between August 2009 and June 2010.
Mixed at WERS (Boston, MA) and The Office (North Andover, MA)
Mastered by Graham Goldman at Masterdisk (NY, NY).

Will Van Beckum – photography and video
Extra special thanks to Pat Swoboda.
©Glenn Kendzia

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